


Creeping Ice

by Inwitari_Turelie



Series: Creeping Ice [1]
Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Miscommunication, Odin actually tries to be a good parent, Self-Esteem, Time Skips, Utter Refusal to write dialogue, but nothing does, everything changes, isssues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-14 09:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inwitari_Turelie/pseuds/Inwitari_Turelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unbeknownst to his parents Loki discovers he's Jotun in his childhood. Deciding he's only a tool and that he's less important than his brother he sinks into the shadows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Done for the norsekink prompt:
> 
> Loki discovered he was Jotun while he was still a child. No one else realised he'd found out, and Loki wasn't entirely sure whether he was cursed or if he was truly Jotun. However, he came to the conclusion that he was a monster, and therefore Odin and Frigga's favouring of Thor was perfectly acceptable. He decided that his place must be to lay low, support his brother and await Odin's plans for him.
> 
> I don't mind what happens. I'd like to see the family realising that Loki's very troubled. Or at least how things are changed because of this.

Looking back it was obvious that Loki would be able to find a way into Weapons Vault. After all Thor had managed it and Loki was obviously cleverer than Thor. That was why Loki had refused to help Thor when his brother decided to go before. For all it might look like it Loki doesn't actually like getting into trouble but sometimes it's worth it. Going into the Weapons Vault definitely wasn't. After all Loki had known Thor's idea was pointless. Father had only just brought them in there hardly any time ago, so it was not as if he might have actually seen anything new. Asgard might be the mightiest power in the universe but even they did not amass treasure at such a speed. There were much must be other places they could go that they haven't been to before.

That Thor ignored him isn't that surprising but if Thor wanted to put himself in danger that was his brother's choice.

Of course Loki had never thought Thor would actually be stupid enough to touch the Casket of Ancient Winters. Of course a monster's weapon would be dangerous. Clearly Thor never listened to any of the stories Mother told them, never mind understood what they were supposed to learn from their stories. You should never underestimate an enemy. Or pick up random magical artefacts unless you knew what it was or not to use them. Loki's rather less fond of the second moral, he isn't a baby, he doesn't need telling not to touch dangerous items. Although he guesses that maybe Thor had proved that one of them did need that.

Yet, when Thor had returned screaming with a frostbitten hand, Mother and Father didn't really seem to punish him at all. Loki didn't expect them to not heal Thor. However though it wasn't as if Thor's injury was life-threatening. Despite this his parents were so worried about Thor they noticed Loki even less than usual. Their mother had stayed by Thor's side the entire day after. Being banned from the sparring rings for some time was hardly a proper punishment, it's not as if Thor can never go back there and besides there a loads of other things you can do for fun that don't entail pummelling people into the ground.

Loki knew that would never have had got away with it.

Loki realised that the fact he was made his own way to the Weapons Vault planning to do exactly what he knew his brother had been stupid to do a little strange given all this. Especially as he had known the exact danger he faced. It was not his fault though really. Loki was pretty sure all the blame can be laid at Sif's feet. He'd had only been teasing Thor about how silly he'd been when she'd said Loki was too cowardly even to touch it and he couldn't let such an insult go. Especially from Sif, who was after all a girl, which made it more of an insult.

Thus Loki found himself inside the Weapons Vault in front of the Casket of Ancient Winters. The Casket was probably a bit high up for him to safely lift but then it wasn't as if Loki needed to lift it. Only to touch it. All he had to do was stretch one arm out and place his hand against the swirling blue.

The problem was, Loki really didn't want to touch it. The eerie blue light it threw onto his skin seemed ominous. Loki knew the Casket was powerful and on top of that it was Jotun seidr, even more untrustworthy than the magics Loki was starting to experiment with under his mother's guidance.

Yet Loki had to touch it. Else he'd be a coward. Loki Odinson was no coward.

He reached and touched the Casket.

It wasn't painful.

What exactly Thor's problem had been Loki didn't know. In fact he'd felt he could hold on to Casket for as long as it wanted. It didn't seem to be doing his hand's any harm either.

Then he realised with horror that the blue shade of his skin was not simply an illusion caused by the light of the Casket.

He yanked his hand away.

His skin was blue. Actually blue. Truly Jotun blue. Like a monster. Even the texture looked different, too rough and not like proper skin at all.

That was impossible.

Except both the evidence of his eyes and his knowledge had told him it was not.

Loki knew there were many areas of Seidr which included fooling the eyes and changing the appearance of things. There were others, albeit less, in which one could actually change a substance, transmuting it into something else.

But the Casket of Ancient Winters was not supposed to have any powers in such areas. Loki hadn't heard of it having any such powers. Of course Loki doesn't know everything but surely at some point someone would have said something about the Casket doing such?

There where no stories from the war where this happened.

At some point Loki came to his senses and fled the chamber. He hadn't wanted to be anyway near the Casket.

When he reached his own chamber he dragged his chair up to block the door before running over to his bed and wrapping himself in his blankets. He felt a little warmer now. Surely here he was safe from the Casket. At least, he thought, he was safe from anyone finding him where he shouldn't be.

Loki stared at his hand. Thankfully it had returned to its usual Aesir cream. He wiggled his fingers. His treacherous hand continued to look and feel as it always had; as if it had never become that of a Jotun.

The Casket was not _supposed_ to be able to do that. Loki knew that. That had to be the case because had not done anything of the like to Thor who had come out with nothing more than a bad case of frostbite.

If it wasn't the Casket, there must be something wrong with _Loki_.

Loki's mind scrambled to alternatives, perhaps it was not necessessarily _wrong_ with him, maybe possible the Casket was cursed in such a way that it only affected those that used Seidr. Or perhaps maybe Thor was just stronger than Loki and had fought off the curse, could his brother's ties to stroms fight off another element's magic?

Unless maybe it was not the Casket itself but Loki that was cursed. He had been born at the end of War. Maybe some Jotun angered at their had cast their witchcraft upon him in revenge. It was even possible someone of Asgard had done so to cast suspicion on Loki's place and loyalty. Loki knew he didn't gain people's love as easily as his brother but surely he was too young for such concerns . 

Or maybe he wasn't cursed.  Well, not least not by more than his own nature. It was possible to return one be-spelled to appear to as if they from one world back to their true appearance through contact with seidr-relics from their own realm. It Loki was a Jotun it would make sense the Casket would turn him back into one.

It would make sense of a lot of things actually. If Loki was actually a Frost Giant then of course his parents would favour Thor. Who wouldn't prefer the child of their own blood to some creature?

If Loki was a Frost Giant then no wonder Loki was punished more often and more severely than Thor. After all if one decides to raise a monster then one has to live with the fear it will eventually revert to its nature

If Loki was a Frost Giant then of course Thor would find it easier to make friends than he did. While it couldn't be because they knew, else Loki was sure he would not have his head on his shoulders, no doubt some instinct warned them away from him. Besides, how could a Jotun understand relationships between those who are Aesir.

If Loki wasn't part of his family then why he resembled the rest of his family so little was no longer a mystery. It would have taken some powerful work of Seidr to make him seem Aesir perhaps making him seem like an Odinson was a little too far.

It all made far too much sense.

Apart of course from why Father, no, Odin, if Loki wasn't Aesir then Odin wasn't his father, would take a Jotun to raise in Asgard.

Why take a monster home?

Why take an enemy into their most protected place?

Mother always said Father had reasons for all he did.

Unless there was a reason to raise a Frost Giant in Asgard Loki could not be a Jotun.

For perhaps a second Loki was relieved. 

However Loki had always been known he was bright. All his tutors thought so and told him so. He'd always been proud but now for the first time now he wished he was not.

Because he could think of reasons for bringing a Jotun to Asgard.

For all he knew he was some sort of hostage. Such things were hardly unknown. For all the famous beauty might be called Freya of Asgard she hailed from Vanaheim and had been taken as security after the Aesir-Vanir War.

It wasn't impossible the same might have been done after the War with Jotunheim. Loki might be of a noble house or perhaps seidr was of importance in Jotunheim.

A Jotun could not live openly in Asgard as a Vanir did. No wonder his heritage had been hidden. Besides where safer to keep an eye on the child than in the Royal House?

It was a bit odd Loki had been raised as a Prince but perhaps that was another attempt at safeguarding him.

It would make sense to take a child who could be raised in Asgard and made a little like a monster as possible rather than a querulous adult.

And there was the Casket. Only a Jotun could wield it.

Perhaps it was more complex though. Maybe Loki was of more than simply a noble family. After all hadn't his father said both he and Thor were born to be Kings.

A King of Jotunheim who was a friend to Asgard could be useful indeed.

There could be a lot of reasons.

The more he thought on it the more Loki became convinced he was probably a Jotun.

He knew he couldn't ask though.

At best, he'd get in trouble as he'd have to confess to trepassing in the vault. However if he was Jotnar, that he'd found out would mean he had messed up Odin's plan.

He didn't want to upset Odin.

Loki had never liked upsetting his father. Before this though Loki had thought no punishment Odin could choose would be too harsh and sometimes it was almost worth it to have the enterity of Odin's attention. But that was when Loki thought he was Odin's son. Now he no longer thinks that. 

In the stories and more perintently in the histories the Jotnar who attack Asgard are killed. The obstacles in Asgard's way are destroyed. If finding out means Loki isn't useful anymore, that leaves him as an enemy in the heart of Asgard. 

Loki can't know that Odin would never kill him. 

Yet maybe if Odin didn't know Loki knew it wouldn't matter.

After all Odin had raised Loki, _a Jotun_ , an enemy, as his own son. He had taught Loki to call them family. Loki does not think all the affection from his parents could be feigned. Odin is often busy but it's not like he neglects Loki even if Thor has a tendency to steal his attention. Frigga too had done more than raise an enemy's child healthily, she'd comforted him after his nightmares when he was little, well, acted he was her son. Surely there was no need to do any of that?

Perhaps there was still hope then.

Odin and Frigga might never love Loki as they loved Thor, afterall he couldn't compete with their true child, but if Loki stayed quiet and obedient and fulfilled all their plans then maybe his Father and Mother would love him a little.

He thought with sudden exictement, that afterall, what better way was there to prove he wasn't a monster than to aid in the defeat of the Jotnar, as his father had no doubt planned for Loki to do?

The Nine Realms would be better off without them or with them under the control of the Aesir.

And Loki could really be Loki of Asgard.


	2. Chapter 2

So Loki learnt to be second. Quietly.

When Thor was released from the Healing Wing Loki was the first to see him. He knew no one could query his right to do so after all they didn't _know._

When Sif said that Loki was a coward and hadn't touched the Casket Loki just smiled and told her that perhaps he was a coward, mentally adding that such could be said of all of the Jotnar so it wasn't as if it was really an insult to him, but that none here were as brave as his brother after all.

She hadn't quite been happy with that but like Loki she knew the importance of Thor's friendship so she didn't argue not wanting to insult Thor. Loki found his smile came truly to his lips at her flummoxed expression. Now that Loki knew how precarious his position was he wasn't going to risk his place by getting into arguements with Sif.

Loki was careful to stay his brother's friend. Thor couldnot know what Loki was; their parent's couldn't have told him as Thor could not keep a secret like this nor would he have excepted Loki if he knew the truth. So Thor clearly did not know.  Thus Loki could continue their parents lie and make Thor love him as a bother. Perhaps if Loki made sure Thor had enough effect for him then one day his brother would protect him if any of this came out.  So he sparred with Thor in his room while he was banned from the training guards. He worried that it might displease father but he decided it was probably acceptable as it did not exactly reduce his brother's punishment. After all Loki was no true trainer nor was he inclined to fight as hard as Thor's friends would. He understood the importance of their skills but it was silly to injure itself severely in playfighting. Plus he was also less inclined to shower Thor with hardly objective praise so it probably did Thor some good really.

Besides which Loki was sure their Father wished Thor to be a fine warrior and he was only helping that. While he queried whether it was indeed a good idea for a Frost Giant to take up arms the Allfather had been the one to arrange Loki's training so it seemed he was meant to learn. That being true he rationalised that a little more practice would not harm either of them. 

Especially not Loki since he was yet to excel at anything except throwing knives. This might partially be due to his dislike of battle and its accompanying dirt rather than any lack of natural skill but secretly Loki was actually a little proud of both his dislike and failure at violence. While it might not be quite what was expected from an Asgardian Prince, it was certainly not what any true Jotun would ever feel on the matter.

Still Loki did note that his experiences in weapons training did improve with his new attitude though; at least to the extent that Tyr seemed to criticise Loki less when he simply accepted any criticism as if it was his due.

When he wasn't with Thor Loki gave up trying to make friends. Perhaps Loki wasn't quite as useful with fewer friends in the court but he had yet to be taken aside and told to make any by Father so he thought it was rather unfair to try and force them to befriend a Jotun or to tolerate one’s presence at any rate. Certainly if  _he_ was in their position he would not be glad to have been friends with one of the Jotnar. Especially if they tried to hide it. 

Besides, he thought bitterly, it was not as if he had ever been successful before honestly. It wasn't all his fault entitrely; there wasn't exactly a multitude of candidates. Even amongst the younger Aesir most were older than Loki. Few people conceived children during a war after all and Loki remember his tutors telling him many in Asgard feared the strength of the peace after the war was ended. Desperate people took desperate acts after all and Jotunheim had been left in such a state.

Once Mother had asked him if he was happy with so few playmates. Loki had thought it was nice of her to ask. Still it wasn't as if Loki really enjoyed many of the games the other children liked to play and he did enjoy reading uninterrupted so he had been able to say truthfully enough that it did not trouble him.

Silently he added that after all Loki knew his duty.

Mother had looked a little upset then and he wondered if perhaps he was failing to be A Proper Aesir again and resolved to try not to alienate Thor's closest friends at minimum but she changed the conversation to what he had learnt in his studies recently and she seemed happy enough with with what he said of that. Loki found this a much easier conversation; he was learning so much that was interesting and here at least he did excel. He might have also had a slight ulterior motive in that hoped that perhaps Mother would judge him ready to learn more seidr if she saw how well he was doing.

He did feel a little bad, calling them Father and Mother and Brother, but they were the ones had told, had _taught,_ him to do so, so Loki decided that it was alright to continue doing so.

After a while Loki looked back at his results and overall he thought his actions were a success.

People definitely seemed to get annoyed with him less these days. It was true this could possibly be attributed to the fact that they saw him less as he tended to avoid leaving the Royal Quarters except for classes, meals and library visits. He did not want to force his company on them and ever since his revelation he had never been quite sure how to act. He still saw his family as often as he ever had; if not more and it was from them that Loki needed affection.

Still, Loki counted anything which reduced dislike of him as a accomplishment. After all the less he was disliked by Asgard the less he was a Frost Giant.

Mother kept inviting him to talk and help her with things. Loki enjoyed that. Sometimes he thought she wished he was a girl though with how much she had him around and encouraged his seidr. Still, if Mother thought it was acceptable for Loki to spend time with her and her handmaidens and help their weaving by collecting thread and such, then it was. Her handmaidens all seemed to think Loki was "adorable" and as some of her attendants who were only in training had only just reached adolescence and were thus not much older than Loki himself it was not that unlike having friends.

He also thought his Father's eye rested on him more often when they were together. What emotion caused this was hard to tell. The King couldn't have a face too easily read, something Loki would have to teach Thor, and Odin had never been easy to read. Sometimes Loki wondered if Odin's expressions made more since to an Asgardian but short of asking Thor to try and in interpret that hypothesis didn't help work out what Odin was thinking now. It wasn't the pride Loki was hoping for but nor was it anger as he feared. Admittedly it wasn't exactly a content look either but whether Loki could cause his father to be content, given what he was, was in question.

Luckily for Loki however much Asgard might not hold it in favour Father didn't seem displeased by his Seidr lessons nor their something else his mother which his mother had orchestrated recently. 

Of course Father was wise and no doubt understood there were many places Seidr could be of use where pure martial skill could not. Though his Father used little magic these days without it he would not be able to wield Gungnir.

Perhaps if Loki had been his Father's blood-son or even Aesir his Father would be less accepting. After all Thor had inherited some Seidr from his parents, else many of the weapons he dreamt of wielding would be beyond his reach, yet he not only showed no inclination to learn but was actively not encouraged to do so.

As Loki was Jotun it was then completely acceptable for him to learn magic. It wasn't as if it could debase him anymore than his own nature already did afterall. 

However Loki was careful not to be overly showy with his magic and to eschew any obvious tricks. It would not do to draw negative attention to himself given how uncertain his status was in the Royal Family already was.

Where he can he tries to support his brother as well as he could and nudge Thor in the right direction. Normally this lies in the opposite direction to Thor’s first instinct, fighting being perhaps the only exception. Sometimes he thought it was a very good thing he had been taken to Asgard as what Thor would have done without him he honestly had no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

As Loki got older his strategy seems, for the most part, to continue to work. It has become more and more obvious that Thor is their parents' true son and that he is not. If their disparate looks were not enough then how Thor excelled at all that Asgard held dear and Loki didn't surely did.

Loki thought it was wise that he no longer attempted to join in all the activities Thor enjoys as it would only make Loki look as if he was trying and failing to equal his brother. Something quite clearly impossible. Perhaps he'd be safer if he had a closer relationship with Thor as he had hoped for in the past but at some point he had realised that he cannot have everything. Oddly Loki being less inclined to follow Thor around these days only seems to increase Thor’s insistence they should do everything together.  Even more surprisingly Thor has actually started to listen to Loki’s excuses in an attempt to counteract them.

Loki will admit Thor is bright and though he tends to offend as almost as much as he made friends he definitely could not be ignored. Loki is easily ignored. An impressive feat when one stands out as much as he does. Loki has only become more so over the years and is never quite sure if it is something intrinsic to him or purely the result of his actions. Certainly he cannot see anyway Thor could be ignored as he is. It does not bother him overmuch and it does make his job of smoothing over the disagreements Thor has got himself into easier. For though Loki has little hope for ever stopping Thor from getting into such arguments; he has certainly managed to improve Thor’s abilities when it comes to reconciliation yet his brother is still in need of Loki's aid in such matters.

Although Loki might not have the inbuilt communication skills his brother is endowed with, he has become quite skilled at putting ideas in people's heads without them ever realising who has been responsible for putting it there. He attributes it to being both clever and forgettable.

It's somewhat ironic given how Thor is favoured that he is also punished so much more than Loki. It's not that Thor is punished unfairly though. While Loki might love his brother and be his staunchest supporter he has no problems with Thor receiving the lessons he so desperately needs before his is King.

Loki's avoidance of conflict has been aided by that fact he has heard much that he should not have. Of course he was worried that eavesdropping was wrong, certainly it was morally so. Yet it was ever so useful. Besides it was not as if he had any true honour anyway. Why should not the adopted Jotun help his family in the way that their true-son should not?

Sometimes he heard the people talking about him. For most part it's just about how little he's there. Most are confused. Some worry that he is ill. Some disapprove of his quietness and apparent lack of fight. Oddly, not all of the blame is attributed to him. Many times he's heard soldiers joke that the Allfather took half his second son's soul and give it to his firstborn in order to have a powerful heir. Generally though, Loki thought that it was much safer than it could have been. Most importantly none of them seem aware he's a Jotun.

Loki doesn't focus too much on how he heard one of his weapons trainers say how he's afraid to give any sort of extra practice to the second prince as the boy would not only take it as punishment but also seems to always expect to be punished.

There have been some rough patches. When Loki had his first growth spurt he panicked and worried that his Jotun nature was coming through. He might have slightly over-reacted when trying to keep out of people's view and both his parents told him quite firmly that, yes, he did have to leave his private quarters for food.

His Mother had reassured him that this was actually quite normal and reminded him that Thor had grown recently too. Loki took this to mean that whatever enchantment keeps him appearing Aesir is strong enough to continue even as he matures.

She’d also suggested that perhaps Loki should wear colours other than black or grey. Loki isn’t quite convinced. It is true he uses his Seidr to hide in shadows but it is easier if one is almost a shadow anyway. In the end he asks for some of green he favoured when he was younger to be added to his new set of clothes.

She’d also hinted that she was going to have Father talk to himself and Thor about this whole growing up process. This promises to be such an embarrassing conversation that Loki would attempt to avoid it entirely if it wasn’t for the fact that perhaps then Father will reveal his true purpose.

When the conversation finally comes though; Loki's hopes are dashed. There was no giant revelation about his purpose and really it's rather unfair for them not to tell him what it is. It would really be much easier to act as they wish him to if they actually told him what that was.

Instead Loki had had to sit through a mortifying joint speech with Thor about growing up and responsibility and girls. Really, it was much more a lesson Thor needed than Loki. Not least because of the fact that Thor was that little bit older. If Loki did need to be told about such things it could surely have waited at least half a century, if not more.

Admittedly Father had seemed as embarrassed about it as they were and Loki can sort of understand that if one had children so close in age then that is a rather handy excuse only to go through it once. In fact that he talked to them himself at all is something that Loki can see his Mother's hand in.

As to why they felt the need to talk to him as they did Thor Loki isn't quite sure. While it's good to have some reassurance about his growth spurts Loki could have just looked the other stuff up in a book. Besides he isn't like Thor. He knows he can't just fall in love with the first person he meets. That would most certainly mess up their plan and he doubted it would have been much better had he been an actual son of Odin. Anyway Loki is far too young for any of the love stuff and it looks far too much like that difficult problem that is friendship.

It had been a bit odd though. Father had said to Loki that he had been much the same height at this age. It seems like an odd statement to make given their lack of a blood relationship but then he guesses it does show that his parents are unaware of that Loki knows his true nature.

He does wonder when they plan to tell him. Perhaps he has already upset something by being aware. Sometimes Loki wonders if whether he'd ever have worked it out if he hadn't been dared to touch the Casket one day. Surely he would have known something, given how different he is and how differently he is treated. Perhaps he never would have guessed that he was a Jotun though. Perhaps he would guess he came from another Asgardian family, a cousin perhaps. Loki dosen't look or really act like a Frost Giant after all.

When Loki thinks about it though, it does seem rather odd that his parents are unaware of his discovery. He knows they sometimes seem confused at his choices, no doubt wondering why he is so different to Thor when they have raised him the same, but surely they would not be if they knew he knew. They've never seemed angry for any not otherwise attributable reasons anyway, so it seems unlikely they’ve found out.

It's not impossible that perhaps that they just find it easier to ignore his discovery though. Although he’d guess that if that is the case Father hasn't told Mother. She’d hardly spend all the extra time she does with Loki otherwise.

That Heimdall hasn't told Father about Loki's visit to the Weapons Vault seems bizarre. Then again, he never did deign to mention most of Thor and Loki's dares and excursions when they were younger. It's quite possible he didn't realise Loki worked it out. Or thought Loki would raise the matter himself. Or that Father does not allow Heimdall to see in the Vault itself.

Overall Loki thinks how kindly his parents act proves that they don't know about his discovery and well, he's managed to act well enough thus far so there is no reason that they should find out.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Loki is officially summoned by his father he is once again confused to say the least. Father has invited him on a trip to Alfheim.

Him. Not Thor. Not Odin's real son. Him.

It is odd that Father would take either of them. Both he and Thor are still young to take on actual duties but too old for any misbehaviour to be ignored or laughed off.

So, little reason to take Loki, but reason to take Loki rather than Thor perhaps.

Loki's seidr may be another reason given the Elves are much fonder of such skills than the Aesir.

It does not fit well with Loki's scheme to avoid attention in Asgard. He frets what people will think about Father taking him. It will not only put Loki and his failures in their minds but they will ask why he and not his brother have been taken. Still it is Father's choice and he must know what he is doing.

Loath though he is to admit confusion or annoy Father by asking anything, in the end he had decided to ask why he was being taken. Father had looked at him with yet another of his unreadable expressions and Loki had been worried that he was about to be told off before his father spoke and told him that it was good for him to gain experience of other realms and governance.

When Loki asked why he and not Thor, given his brother was to be King of Asgard, Father had said that that "perhaps Thor did not deserve such belief in his future” before adding that besides that there are some skills Loki is more suited to than his brother.

Loki thinks this means it is likely that his presence on the trip is meant as a rebuke to his brother's behaviour. That and no doubt Father knows Loki will attempt to pass on what he has learnt of the other realms and how to act with them.

Not that Loki will necessarily be successful but he has a better chance than Thor's tutors at least.

Thor has become surprisingly good at attending when Loki talks. Given how little time Loki does spend with Thor compared to his brother’s other friends and how desperately Thor seems to attempt Loki to join in he thinks it is his brother's attempt at humouring him. Certainly it has evolved past simply listening to Loki’s excuses for not participating; now he generally heeds Loki’s words and recommendations, for a short time anyway. Loki can almost have a proper conversation with his brother and it is true he probably has taught Thor more than his tutors have. Admittedly Loki was unsure that it is not simply a ploy, possibly to try and get Loki to join in with whatever foolery he has thought up this time, Thor isn’t exactly cunning but he does try sometimes, but Loki supposed it did not matter so long as the end results are beneficial .  
Loki still is not quite sure what he’s going to do or how he’s going to act on this trip. This is quite beyond the parameters of what he’s planned for in the past. Which it seems was rather a mistake on his part.

  
Of course Loki has not been unaware of the fact he might one day visit other realms. It is simply that he always thought he would be accompanied not only by his father but by Thor. In such a case though he might be making more public appearances representing Asgard insofar as his main role is to support Thor Loki’s actions would need little adjustment.

  
This time will be different. Loki will be the only representative of his father’s sons and he can’t let his family down after all they’ve done for him.  
His unease lasts right up to when they depart on the Bifrost despite the reassuring smile his father tries to give him. Loki thinks his father believes Loki to be afraid of travelling by the bridge for the first time but Loki has no such worries. The Bifrost is well-wrought and the principles of its seidr are firm.

  
When it is over Loki must admit that much to his surprise he actually enjoyed the trip to Alfheim. It's not that he's not used to enjoying anything exactly. It's just that usually his pleasures are small, a new book, a successfully done spell. He certainly isn't used to enjoying society.

Yet he did. For one thing Father actually paid quite a lot of attention to him on this trip. Not as much as he did to the Alfar King, of course. After all Loki isn't the reason for the excursion but he had much more time alone with his father than he does at home.  
Loki can tell that Father often struggles to understand him. It's probably because they're different species, so it's really rather kind of him to make the effort.

Another difference is that the Elves actually paid attention to him. After all he is Odin's son, as far as they're aware. This does mean Loki couldn't go unnoticed as he does at home. That did curtail some options and honestly he had been rather unsure about how to cope with people who actually expect you to talk to them but in the end it had not been that bad. He could almost get used to it.

Indeed the Alfar did seem to be impressed by both his seidr and intelligence and it was nice to be praised. Even if Loki knows better than to trust the praise of those wishing to ingratiate themselves with his father.

Loki wonders if this is what being Thor is like.

Despite his enjoyment there had been some off points in the visit.

Mostly including Father.

He must have been doing something wrong because sometimes when Father looked at him he didn't quite look happy.

He'd asked if Loki liked Alfheim and if he enjoyed representing Asgard. When Loki admitted that he had, Father had suggested Loki come on more trips of this kind in the future.  
Loki can recognise a suggestion that he grow to be Asgard's Ambassador when he's older. It makes sense, since Thor cannot be risked.

Except, well, he knows Father hardly had to take a Jotun for that though.

Does Father so dislike him that he wishes to send him from his sight?


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes Loki wondered whether his parents really thought through not telling him the truth.

Thor can be such an dunderhead at times that if Loki didn't know he isn't Aesir and therefore though he might have duties to the realm he doesn't have any authority over it and could never ever be King, he might actually have thought he could make a better King than Thor. Such thoughts would be dangerous.

  
Especially given he'd probably act differently not knowing that Asgard really does not want to see him. Oh, he’d never exceed Thor in much of what Asgard holds dear but he’d be seen and might even believe his efforts entitled him to more recognition than is his due.

Loki realises Thor is unaware of what he is and does not understand why his brother is so different to him. Indeed Thor's deepest wish, or so it seemed to Loki, was for Loki to be more like him and his friends in their activities.

Additionally he understands that given Thor's martial abilities and general embodiment of Asgardian virtues that he's probably been awaiting the time to go his own quest since before Loki discovered his own nature.

This really does not excuse Thor coming to ask Loki if he will come and join Thor and his friends on some unsanctioned excursion to another realm.

That Thor could not just wait for Father to allow him to do so, Loki just could not understand.

Thor seemed not to have any concept of the punishment they would incur for such a trip nor of the potential upsetting of the tenuous political situations. Neither did he show any understanding of the dangers to the entire group, most especially Thor himself, the only heir to the throne. Admittedly Thor is yet unaware of that last fact but given he wants Loki to come too that really isn't an excuse.

Father's immortality makes it easy to forget such matters but Loki knows his father worries about leaving the rule to the Council when the the Odinsleep comes upon him and that he seeks a more permanent successor.

Besides Thor's idea had not even made sense given there had been not idea of how they were planning to get past Heimdall. Loki realised that Thor wishes to prove himself. It's not as if Loki doesn't have the same motivation if for rather different more important reasons and with more sensible plans. He knows his brother covets their grandfather's war hammer, Mjolnir, as if it's wielding would be a confirmation of his worthiness. Sometimes it seemed as if Loki had only increased Thor's desire to prove himself, as if his brother had taken Loki's reticence to join his activities as being Thor's personal failure.

What his brother doesn't seem to remember is that there is a fatal flaw in Mjolnir. The hammer needs reforging but none in Asgard have the skill. The dwarves could probably do it but only for such a price that it would be a needless loss in these times of peace.

None of this excuses Thor coming up with stupid plans in which even the first part lacks any sensible excecution. Thor and his friends might be able to skip past Palace Guards but the Gatekeeper is a different issue.

At first Loki worried that his refusal is going to provoke a massive argument but thankfully when he points out the large Heimdall-shaped-hole in the plan though Thor seems to accept it.

Sadly his brother seems entirely unaware of the fact that Loki actually has no desire to "embark on an adventure". Of course, Loki thought, he might actually have to go if they did; if purely to keep Thor from grievously injuring himself too much

At least the friends his brother has found should hopefully be useful when it comes to that. They are both ridiculously loyal to his brother and worthwhile to have by one's in a fight.

In fact Loki thinks Thor could do worse than marry Sif if no better alternatives present themselves. Not that he's sure his brother actually remembers that Sif is a girl, and of that means, half the time. Which is impressive given personally Loki thinks she's sort of pretty. Deadly but pretty. Not that his opinion is important.

Apparently and to no great surprise of his it seemed that Loki had no luck; it turned that out Thor was perfectly capable of getting himself in trouble in Asgard.

Loki really shouldn't have been be surprised by this.

Perhaps Thor did notice Loki didn't want to come as for whatever reason Thor didn't invite him along this time. Possibly because 'twas possible that Thor actually went out with nothing more in mind than visiting parts of the city with his friends. Albeit parts of the city Thor was hardly supposed to actually be in.

Although that might be the reason for Loki’s lack of invitation. Loki does have a tendency to tell their parents everything. With the exception of the that he knows what he obviously.

After all Loki can't be certain of parental benevolence.

The problem is that Thor had managed not only to get himself in trouble but to injure himself along the way.

And Loki wasn't there to stop it happening.

Loki doesn't know what he's going to use as an excuse for this.

Generally he doesn't get angry at Thor. Thor is Aesir, Thor is Asgard's future King, Thor is better than Loki in everyway possible.

Loki does as he's supposed to and stays his shadow. He even overcomes his instincts to avoid Thor as to not contaminate him by association just so he can try and improve Thor's ability to rule Asgard.

Then Thor had the audacity to tell Loki that he got into this fight defending him.

Which made Loki doubly responsible for his brother's injury and unlike Thor, he can't be certain any punishment will be small and not permanent.

Loki found Thor's reasoning ridiculous.

Loki wasn't even there.

Loki never asked to be defended. He is quite good at avoiding confrontations and simply not being there to provoke them in the first place.

Besides Loki hears what people say about him and the grand majority of it is more confused concern rather than any actual malevolence.

If people are taking enough notice of him to say anything problematic about his family that's Loki's failure and his job to fix. He can't believe his brother tried to involve himself.

Thor needs to keep himself safe and uninjured as Odin's only heir.

Yelling most of this at Thor was probably not his brightest moment.

To respond to Thor's impassioned upset reply that perhaps Loki should show himself in public more then and actually act like the Royal Prince he is given he's Odin's other heir with the oh, so, obvious fact that a Frost Giant can't sit on the throne of Asgard definitely was not.

Especially as their parents, no doubt attracted by their shouting, choose that moment to enter the chamber.


	6. Chapter 6

Staring at their faces Loki can see that exactly what he's feared over the years has finally happened. His parents have understood exactly what his last sentence meant. They know he knows. Now they'll ask how and why and how long and for once he dosen't know how whether to tell the truth or lie. Loki doesn't have any defence for either being in the chamber or that he's covered it up for so long. 

He can't believe he's been so stupid. To hide something for so long then trip up in one small argument with his brother. Loki knows he argues less with Thor than most do with their siblings but he never suspected this might actually be a disadvantage. 

For once in his life Loki has no idea what the best path is to take. It feels unnervingly similar to when he made the original discovery. He feels lost and he has to force himself not to flee the room. After all he knows to do so would be an admission of guilt more powerful than anything Loki could say. 

The only small speck of hope lies in the fact that no one has spoken yet. In fact everyone seems as lost over what to do as Loki is. Thor has, of course, no idea of what's going on. No doubt his Mother is worrying that Loki might choose to embrace his monstrous identity as one of the Jotnar and it’s certainly clear from his father’s face that Loki was correct in his original surmise that Father hasn't planned for him to find out without being told. 

Yet in this confusion there might still be some way for Loki to get through this.  
Loki doesn't find himself surprised when after his mother's aborted attempt to say something more than his name his father decides its best they speak to Loki in private without Thor. After all it wouldn't do to besmirch his brother with their family's dirty little secret.

It doesn't really surprise him that Father's first words to him once they arrive in privacy are "You Know". The intonation wavers somewhere between a statement and a question. 

Loki answers in the affirmative for all that it is only confirming something they all know. Now it's actually all coming out he feels much calmer than he expected.

The natural next question is "How?" and so it is. 

Loki outlines his visit to the Chamber. After some equivocation he explains why before they can ask. Such explanation does of course also pinpoint exactly when it happened. However even though that means telling them just how long he's kept this secret Loki is hoping that his youth at the time and the parallel to Thor's actions, who after all did it first, will buy him leniency.

At first they seem confused. Then Mother asks that surely Loki does not mean that time Thor got frostbite from the casket when they were still young children. 

At the dawning comprehension on his father's face Loki realises that they'd almost forgotten the incident. What had been a life-changing day to him had for all their worry at the time simply been one of many childhood misdemeanors. He thinks that were his future not so reliant on this interview he'd almost laugh.

When he again confirms this he sees horror dawning on his parents faces. Perhaps Loki truly has thrown their plans off course. Maybe they never did mean him to know. 

The next question Loki expects is "Why didn't you tell us?”. In fact what he gets is Mother's "That long?"

For once his parents seem easy to read and Loki feels terrible that he's the reason for the anguish in his mother's voice. 

The question he'd expected comes next, from Father this time.

Loki isn't sure what to say. He doesn't know what his parents want to hear so he can't say it. Should he admit that he feared for his life?

That might only enrage Father or even put the idea in his mind. 

If he weakens his answer and just says that he feared punishment he will come off as a coward. Which while it may be the truth is not how he wants his parents to see him. Especially given that it's something the Aesir tend to say is a Jotnar trait.

Instead he details his confusion, he mentions his fear but not of what, how eventually it was too late to say anything.

Unfortunately Father is more perceptive than Loki has perhaps given him credit for and remarks that Loki was too scared of what he would do to tell him. Loki can tell he has upset his father with his lack of courage. 

Indeed it falls to his mother to ask if this is why Loki has been so solitary and so rarely happy. She doesn’t quite manage to say it so succinctly, sounding as if she's struggling as she chooses then says each word but that is the gist of her query. 

For once he says nothing and just nods. 

It seems the least difficult way to agree. 

After a while he adds "in part"

Because, yes, Loki did make decisions and he did have something of a plan he followed but he likes to think his distaste for martial skills and talent at Seidr are something intrinsic to him.  
Loki stands there waiting for them to pronounce his future. In a way it's a relief. He's gone through so much of his life without knowing what his purpose that the idea of knowing his fate, even in the short term, even if it's not exactly what you'd call nice, well, it's definitely tempting.

The last thing Loki expects is for his mother to sweep and up in a hug and apologise to him. Apologise for not telling him. Apologise for not knowing what was wrong. Apologise for not doing more. 

To tell him she loves him.

And as much as that last statement fills him with warmth Loki doesn't understand. Why is she apologising?

She's adopted a Frost Giant into her family and actually has probably spent more time over the years with him than Thor. He should be grateful to her and he's the one who's messed it all up.

Then his father chimes in telling Loki that Loki should have told him but it's his own failure he didn't and that Loki is his son.

And Loki just doesn't understand. 

They say they love him and he wants to believe it but he just doesn't understand why he is in Asgard, in this family in the first place.

So, he takes a chance. And asks. 

And Father spins some tale of finding an abandoned infant in a temple and being weary of war, of one death too many, of the bond he felt to the babe, and of taking this baby home. 

Taking him home. 

Loki wants to believe it. He does. Really. Yet, pity for a baby justified not killing him, maybe even justifies bringing him back to Asgard but does it really justify raising him as his son, a Prince.

Loki doesn't know what to do.

He wishes he could just take this words as the truth without any hidden meanings but Loki listens too much and has seen too much of his father's ruling to accept such a simple explanation. 

But for now, he will. 

Because, Loki's pushed his luck already and so far his parent's response had been better than anything he's ever expected. 

Yet, somehow, Father seems to realise and starts saying how maybe he did have plans for Loki once, but he abandoned them long ago and now he just wants Loki to grow up well.


	7. Chapter 7

Loki isn't really sure what he's supposed to do now. Apparently he's been living most of his life under a mistaken belief. If when he believed himself to be Aesir is included then he's lived his whole live under false ideas of himself. Two different ones admittedly. He's re-imagined his whole purpose in life once, surely it is not too difficult to do so again?

He was so much younger before though. Young enough to change. 

Loki's not unable to act differently. It's not as if he's an ensorcelled set of armour. He acted differently in Alfheim. That was but a short length of time though. He doesn't know if he can readjust permanently.

He has to though. He doesn't want to upset his parent's more.

Since yesterday they've hardly let him out of their sight. For all Loki thought he craved more of Father's attention he actually finds it rather wearisome. After all given that Loki attempted to avoid most everyone except Mother for most of life it’s simply feels wrong. Besides Loki's used to peace and being able to go where he wishes. 

Loki has no idea how to act more like a Prince of Asgard than he is given to doing. He's hardly going to copy his brother. Loki will never be Thor. 

The realm is used to Loki not being there. Now, he doesn't know if his parents will allow that.

His parents.

Loki thinks he would happily go through more upheaval for the knowledge that they consider themselves his parents and they love him. 

Yet, despite this knowledge Loki wonders how much has really changed. After all, he's still a Frost Giant, however much his parents may love him he's not a candidate for the throne. His own behaviour has only reinforced this. Loki has never quite fitted Asgard's norms. He's never tried to as he knows given whom he is that he can't. He's accepted this truth years ago, so really it's probably best he dosen't seek the spotlight now anyway. 

The dread of his future is at least gone. Admittedly the uncertainty remains. Quite what he will be he is not sure. Thor's councillor perhaps. At least not going to be thrown into Jotunheim as he's always feared. 

Yet in a way he wonders if he'd be better somewhere that isn't Asgard. It might make it easier to see who he wants to be. Loki can see Father's early hints of being a diplomat of some sort as the alternative it is.

Surely he thinks, only a Frost Giant could discover his family loves him one day and think of leaving them the next.  
Loki doubts Thor would have this issue.

Their parents have told Thor. In a way he's glad he wasn’t there at the time. He's not sure if he wants to know what Thor's reaction was at the time. Unfortunately this does mean Loki doesn't actually know what they said to him.

Thor had came and sat down with him and told Loki that Loki was his brother and that this changed nothing. 

Of course that was under Father's watchful eye. Loki doesn't know how long it took to drill that into Thor. 

He recalls that Thor is somewhat simple minded though. Not stupid but he isn't really one for questioning things. Well, unless they interfere with his fun. It's possible that Thor does think Loki is his brother.

That doesn't mean he accepts Loki what Loki is really. 

After all Loki tries to change his brother because while he envies the fact that Thor is brave, noble, martially skilled and supremely talented at commanding loyalty, Loki also knows his brother is too rash among other flaws. Sometimes he even thinks he succeeds at improving him. Thor is less easily read than he once was for a start. 

He knows that their father sees him do it and for once he knows it's actually something Father approves of. Before, when Loki was trying to be a good tool and earn Father's love it was one of the things he took pride in. 

Loki is almost darkly amused at the fact that he's always viewed Thor's tendency to protect those smaller and weaker than himself as a flaw. After all look at the trouble it just got him in. As King of Asgard he can't just interfere with other realms because he feels sorry for one of them.   
Now it seems as if Father would actually approve of such a trait given he took in Loki.

If that was Father's only reason. 

Loki has no idea what his parents actually want from him. Perhaps he is their son and he is loved but that does not mean he doesn't have a role to play.

If Loki only knew what it was. Then maybe he could change. He could act in a way that doesn't hurt them. Well, he amends mentally, he could change within reason, Asgard does have expectations for how he acts. It's not just as if he can suddenly change his entire existence.

He isn't actually sure he wants to.

Maybe he'll start small. 

Actually interact with people on the next trip Thor asks him on perhaps.   
Once he decides to make such changes the only problem is going about them.

Loki likes to think he's good at reading people. It doesn't follow that he's actually good at interacting with people. Avoiding people or not giving offence is easy enough. He can even flatter people. A rather useful skill when one isn't sure if their safety. He's never been able to understand friendship though. Oh, it's not as if Loki dosen't know what other people say in such situations but it just doesn't work when Loki tires it.  
Now, he hopes that this is mainly out of a lack of practice. He decided long ago to not to actually try after all. 

Or it could because he's a frost giant. After all Loki wasn't good at making friends even before he knew. Some instinctual revulsion perhaps. 

Loki doesn't actually want friends. He's not really sure what you're supposed to do with them and he's quite well adapted to not having them. Despite Thor's example he's not sure a prince can really have friends, he's read that equality is supposed to be part of the package that is friendship.

But.

He did say he was going to change and besides his parents might actually let him out of their sight (or Thor's) sight if he's with another person.

Still, if Thor is going to follow him around all the time perhaps Loki should ingratiate himself into his little gang. 

Of course Loki has taken precautions before so that they don't actually dislike him. After all he has needed to be there to restrain his brother. If Loki is going to be a more permanent feature though he's going to have to do something more. For now, He thinks for the most part they pity him. Pity he can work with.

In the end he asks Hogun to spar with him. It's not an activity Loki enjoys but he admits it's one he could improve in. Loki chooses Hogun since he won't ask too many questions. 

Loki thinks he sees his father smile when he announces his plans for the day at breakfast.


	8. Chapter 8

In Loki’s opinion, once again, his plan has for the most part worked. Thor's friends seem to have accepted that he's going to be a more constant feature in their lives.  
Actually, he thinks, that they seem quite pleased to actually have someone to train themselves. He reflects that Sif in particular definitely enjoys that part. For all her skill and Thor’s support, though all acknowledge her skill as a warrior, with her clearly female form and shining golden hair many still question if she is truly the one of the best in the realm. Loki’s ineptitude helps reassure her.

He will never be a true warrior it is true. Despite everything, in a way he's still as proud of that now as he was as a child. He doesn't want to be a warrior and frankly he doesn't need to be one. He may be part of this family but he can't deny being less like a Frost Giant certainly helps. 

He does not enjoy training for its own sake but he thinks that improving his somewhat lacking martial skills is no bad idea. For all Loki fights with seidr and in shadows it would be useful to have a physical advantage as well. Besides if his father truly does wish him to "grow up well" then it seems fitting to improve himself where he can and being skilled in such areas is an important part of Asagrdian life. Even his mother can fight if need be. 

Oddly they've never actually rebuked or made mockery of him for using seidr. Whether this is due to them recognising the advantages it offers or because Thor has said something he is unsure.

It is true that after Loki's shadows had saved them in a scuffle in Vanaheim Fandral had smiled at him and said it was good to have Loki there with them. He admits that was surprising. Loki's not sure quite how to react to people taking pleasure in his presence. His parents want him there, after all, otherwise they would not have taken him and it's true Thor has always sought his companionship but they are his family and so it is different. 

On the other hand it's quite likely that Thor might have said something. Thor says things a lot. At first he had decided Loki's nature didn't matter because he was his brother and he was raised in Asgard so it wasn't as if Loki was really a Frost Giant. Later though, Thor had decided that any slur against the Jotun was a slur against his brother and started to get verbally defensive whenever he heard any such. 

Thor has always had a tendency to defend those he feels are weaker than himself and now he seems to have extended this to the entirety of Jotunheim  
At least, Loki supposes he should be glad that since the fight that led to his family finding out Thor hasn't decided to make his defence physical again. Well, his defence of Loki that is. 

Loki would find Thor’s defence of the Frost Giants darkly amusing if it wasn't for the fact Thor is so unsubtle that he actually is actually surprised that no one has made the connection.

Actually he admits he is not. If he has learnt anything during his time listening it is that Asgard is rather set in its ways and to contemplate Loki was anything other than as Aesir would be anathema to most. 

Alone of his brother's friends he sometimes sees Sif staring at him in suspicion. It is perhaps to be expected though, she is almost of an age to Thor and alone of the four knew Loki before the discovery and change.

Of course should Hogun suspect anything Loki is chagrined to admit he wouldn't be able to tell. The man's face betrays nothing and he does not speak to cause unnecessary problems. Loki has been hoping that eventually some of this will transfer over to Thor; sadly thus far Loki's hopes have been frustrated. He continues to live in hope .  
If Thor is hardly subtle then their father is no better. Thankfully in public at least it his further inclusion of Loki in his work comes off as no more than attempt to consolidate his youngest son's position or provide Thor with an actually competent loyal advisor. In private however Father's tendency to not only tell more tales of his youth but segue from stories of derring do into those of the achievements of Jotunheim are his attempts to help Loki, who Father seems to believe has some issues with his self-worth. Loki does not have issues with his self-worth. He is completely aware of his own worth. He just happens to realise that it might be somewhat lower than the rest of his family. The rest of Asgard however is a different matter.

Thankfully, his mother has had more sense. Once she calmed down after she found out. She has only continued to treat Loki much as she did before. The only real difference is that perhaps he's slightly more open with her when they talk. Well, maybe there are some advantages to the truth. Plus, Loki needs someone to complain of his brother and father to. 

However if Loki is to be honest with himself then he admits that he doesn't really mind everything. In fact he sort of enjoys it; it's nice knowing that you are wanted after all. 

He knows he might never be what Asgard expected of him but honestly right now he doesn't care. He has his family and that's more than he ever really thought he would.


	9. Chapter 9

Sometimes despite how useful it has been Loki regrets the decision to ingratiate himself with Thor's friends rather than finding some of his own. Oh, Loki knows that he needs companions. At least to satisfy his parents. 

It's not as if he does not take any pleasure from being in their company. They are certainly kind to him and each has their own virtues. Fandral and Loki are now the acknowledged champions of flyting in Asgard. Oddly despite his relative lack of normal conversation, Loki actually has a talent for it, a youth spent watching people tends to give you material. Sometimes he does desire the quiet he is used to however and certainly it is not as Hogun pushes him, or well anyone to talk. Sif is his most important co-conspirator in the ongoing exercise of "Keep Thor from being an Idiot", she could perhaps see Thor's flaws slightly more often than she does, but overall she's not a bad ally. Volstagg is perhaps a little over keen on babying Loki, he already has two parents (well, arguably four, he guesses) he hardly needs another one, but he is a good man all things considered. 

Loki knows not all warriors in Asgard would be so accepting of their friend’s tagalong, slightly bizzare, little brother.

Of course most of little brothers of that sort are not Princes in their own right but Loki knows that while his position may entitle him to respect, there is little reason to curry favour with him when one already has the ear of Thor. At least unlike some who tried to approach him when he became less reclusive they aren’t expected any improvements in status from any connection with Loki. 

However it cannot be denied that their interests do not quite lie in the same direction as Loki's own. He is quite their own interests are more acceptable but that does not mean none of his own are useful. He has not wish to simply become another clone of his brother. However He is careful to make sure that he seen taking a part in their activities. He keeps his practice of seidr and time in the library quieter. Of course given that the library is surprisingly unused by those not healers or scholars this is actually surprisingly easy. His seidr he practices in his rooms and Loki chooses to bar most from entering there except when he allows permission. It is not that he is trying to keep his interests secret, he consults with others in his fields and it is well known he uses seidr on the battlefield, but he certainly sees no reason to publicise what he does simply for his own enjoyment.

Fortunately father continues to include Loki and more lately Thor in meetings with the council and other affairs of the state more and more heavily so Loki has some acceptable respite from boredom. If he’s honest it’s also somewhat amusing seeing the expression Thor makes when he realises that rather than being sent to slay a dragon he is being called to listen to some petty argument of the exact interpretation of some law. 

Still, life in Asgard is a difficult game to play sometimes. Loki wishes to please his parents and satisfy his friends but sometimes he thinks he is not quite up to the task. He is not sure whether it’s because of something fundamental in his nature or whether he broke some part of himself in his long isolated youth. Certainly he has made it somewhat difficult for himself in Asgard. 

People even after all this time seem surprised to actually see him out places and Loki would be independently wealthy if he was paid for his troubles every time he’s had to prevent a large fuss being made simply over the fact he’s made an appearance. 

Truly it is easier when they are working with Father or when he and his friends venture to other areas of the Nine Realms.  
Tonight though there is a feast to celebrate their latest victory. Loki does not mind per say that there is a feast. For all he may be somewhat more refined in his eating than some he enjoys a good volume of food as much as any other Asgardian and more than many. Besides even when he was trying to be unnoticed he still made sure to make an appearance at anything vaguely official. Apart from that one time they don’t talk about. Loki still maintains that his fear that he was going to grow twelve feet tall was completely sensible. 

No, the current problem is that Thor and his friends seem to have decided to suddenly be concerned over the fact Loki hasn’t indulged himself in the many romantic dalliances they have and seem to have made it a mission in life to find him one. Doubtless tonight will be one of their many attempts.  
In fact Loki even found Thor of all people in the library trying to look up about how Frost Giants go around such matters. Apparently he’d got it in his mind that perhaps Loki was more like a girl and it had something to do with his species or something. Needless to say Loki had not been interesting in Thor’s ideas and instead been furious at his brother’s attempted intervention. 

Besides that’s not the problem. Not that there is a problem. Just because unlike Thor Loki didn’t spend his entire adolescence mooning over a different maiden every week and with a decent portion of those in his bed does not mean there’s something wrong with him. 

It’s not that he’s not attracted to anyone. Or for that matter than he couldn’t attract anyone. Certainly it would be difficult to attract any attention standing next to Thor and he is hardly Asgard’s physical idea but he's objectively attractive enough and Loki is quite capable of charming someone if he wishes to. He is friends with Fandral for goodness sake.

He guesses that Thor wasn’t completely wrong. It is what he is. It’s just not for the reasons his brother thinks. The bottom line is that Loki is a Frost Giant and it’s not as if anyone in Asgard would wish to lay with one of those. Not that anyone knows of course, Loki isn’t stupid. It’s just that he does not wish to deceive someone by not informing them. Certainly if Loki was in their position and he was to find such had been concealed from him he would not be happy. Even if there are people who would countenance the notion Loki does not wish to tell anyone he does not fully trust and it takes a long time before he trusts anyone. 

It’s not as if he really minds. Loki still believes it likely his parents will chose or at least strongly suggest someone for he and Thor to marry and it would be best to be sure he does not fall in love with another. Plus, he is quite capable of taking care of the physical side of the issue himself. 

Besides it’s not as if these rules apply to denizens of the other realms whose relationships with Jotunheim are rather less fraught. In fact, he has some hopes in regards to an Elf he has been corresponding with on Comparative Magics of the Nine Realms.


	10. Chapter 10

Sometimes Loki feels bad for being in Asgard so little. Still the fact is that though he may be a person rather than a tool he does still have a duty. Truly his mistake in childhood was not to have concluded that his purpose was to serve Asgard and support his brother but to decide that was so because he was a Frost Giant. 

All of his family have roles to play, his father included. To be King is not a role anyone sensible would desire. It is lucky then that Thor is not the most sensible of people. Although Loki will admit that his brother has improved over the years. An improvement in no small part due to Loki himself. 

Loki’s duty is to make sure that the Nine Realms relationships with Asgard stay both cordial and if possible docile. Even in Vanaheim, tied somewhat subserviently to Asgard by blood and treaty, there are whispers of revolt, the frequent presence to Loki Odinson helps reassure their steward Gulleveig that Asgard sees them as equals. 

All the other realms have their own issues. Queen Alfyse struggles to hold onto her power in Svartaflheim. Asgard does not as a rule interfere in internal disputes but this Malekith could be dangerous to other realms as well. Loki intends to plead their case to Asgard. The timing is unfortunate for usually he would ask for his brother to be sent.  
Loki is never sent to Jotunheim.

Now as there are portents of doom stirring in those areas not connected to Yggdrasil, it is only more important that those of her stand together. 

As he looks out at Asgard Loki admits he is glad his residences here are less permanent than most citizens. Here he can never quite sweep away the impressions he made in his youth. He knows this is not a completely a problem, the low expectations they had formed of him means that comparatively most speak of how he has turned out well.   
Loki cannot and will not avoid Asgard forever. Most importantly he will not abandon his family.

His current reason for being here is slightly less sentimental. Father has summoned him. Loki knows what he wishes to discuss.

It is incontrovertible that Father has put the Odinsleep off for too long. After all Loki had started to see the signals it was looming before his family found out he knew.   
Thor’s rule will need to be discussed. Father will no doubt be planning to crown Thor King. Loki is going to ask reduce this to regency. It is not that Thor would be an impossible King, he is a great leader and Loki believes he can be swayed from his proud ideas, indeed he has done better since the increased responsibility Father had given Thor over Asgard’s armies when he gave Loki his diplomatic duties, but Loki will need Thor’s strength elsewhere if the rumours they hear are true. 

Though it is not as refreshing as it should be it is possible for Father not to tarry in the Odinsleep til he reaches full rejuvenation if need be. Besides Asgard is the Realm Eternal, it would look best if any transfer of power is slow. 

Well that can be dealt with after the feast today to celebrate his return. Or perhaps tomorrow on second thoughts. Their father knows better than to schedule such an important conversation after revelling. 

For now Loki is going to visit his mother. Her input on the underlying currents of the courts Loki visits are often quite informative. 

After talking to his Mother he decides to go talk to his brother first. Loki is hardly going to tell Thor that he doesn’t want him to take the crown permanently. Thor would probably take offence before Loki could even explain his reasons. Actually Thor would probably come up with some imbecilic reason of his own. Maybe that Loki thinks Thor is unsuitable to ever rule Asgard. Or even that Loki thinks Thor is too reliant upon him and that he thinks himself not acceptable to hold such power. Thor has a tendency to twist things round like that.

However Loki has grown up with Thor. He knows just how to prime his brother for this conversation. He talks of his worries of violence erupting within the Nine Realms. The threats from further reaches of the universe. He mentions that he has heard whispers that the Mad Titan still moves against them and has found allies. Then he admits of how he will have to ask Father to mobilise Asgard’s might, if not now then soon. Of the need to have all of their strongest warriors ready to take the field.   
Then he changes the subject to how Thor’s been doing lately. Whether he is still undefeated on the sparring ring. Which of the warriors skills he prizes the most. Where have he and his friends been sent on quests. 

Loki is luckier than he could hope. After mentioning his many successes Thor begins to speak of how he wishes he could stay as he is now, ready to lead their army on any battlefield. Apparently Father has been teaching Thor the ways of the state and Thor worries he will not be up to the task of ruling. 

When eventually the time comes to draw the conversation to a close Loki is sure to mention that he his is apprehensive of what their father wishes to impart to them the next day.   
So when his father summons him and his brother the next day, Loki is prepared. Apprehensive, yes, he hadn’t lied to Thor in that, but prepared. This is obviously helped by the fact that Loki has not been mistaken in why their father has called this meeting. 

Nor is Father unaware of what moves beyond their borders. Of course Father has access to whatever Heimdall sees and Heimdall sees much. Not everything all at once and Loki knows it is possible to hide from Heimdall’s sight but the worth of his skill should not be underestimated. 

Now is the time for Loki to mention his own concerns. Best to get that out of the way first. Of course, he is sure to mention that he realises that it is impossible to delay the Odinsleep any further and it that it is best that it takes place as soon as possible. He says he is sure that Thor will be a great and just ruler of Asgard in the interim.   
Both of them look at him in confusion. Loki planned to feign confusion and thus asks whether Father truly meant to renounce the throne to Thor in perpetuity at this point in time.   
Thor, for his part, looks like a drowning man who has been thrown a rope. 

At first Father seems to think that Loki is jealous of the throne. Loki is quick to set him right. He will need Thor’s strength in the right places and right now that is not the throne.   
When Thor lends his strength to the arguments their Father is forced to accept. The ceremony tomorrow will make Thor the Prince Regent rather than King. 

Then Father manages to surprise them both. He wishes Loki to go to Midgard as soon as Thor is securely in place. Apparently recently the mortals have recovered the Tessaract, an artefact left there after the War with the Frost Giants. While originally it was discovered by one less scrupulous than they would desire it was quickly retrieved by other mortals and Father had been happy enough to let them experiment on it. Now however he fears it will attractive unwanted attention to Midgard. In Asgard at least they will be able to wield it so that any such attention may be defeated. 

Loki is to go and parlay for its retrieval. This should be interesting.


	11. Chapter 11

Though it was decided quickly enough it is hardly as if Loki went to Midgard immediately. There were many issues which needed their attention first. The first of these being Thor’s coronation. Only once that had been done was Father able to enter into the Odinsleep. 

Indeed everything had actually progressed with far more haste than Loki had expected. Father must truly have feared dropping into the Odinsleep at an inopportune time. Although it is to be expected that while it takes time for any ceremony and celebration to be prepared for the plans for Thor’s coronation had been designed centuries before he was somewhat surprised to discover that preparation for some elements usually began more recently had begun even before the Allfather spoke to them.

If the Realm Eternal had seen anything amiss with the undue haste between their King’s proclamation and the ceremony than Loki had not heard any such whispers. Of course, the haste is in fact quite necessary and perhaps the populace is aware of that. The Aesir are a warrior race after all; perhaps they sense the approach of upcoming battles.  
Despite the speed at which all is put into place the ceremony loses nothing in splendour. Loki had seen little reason for any reduction in pomp simply due to the fact his brother was being made Prince Regent rather than King and the rest of his family concurred in this opinion and so was thus no such reduction. There is never any harm in making a strong display of wealth and power if one can afford to do so after all. 

The actually important part of the ceremony was disappointingly short. It is clear from the brevity of the oath swearing that Asgard’s first King had been a warrior rather than a politician. Loki thinks it is well that his father succeeded Bor after remarkably short time.

Still, as Loki had stood at the side of the podium he admitted he felt proud of his brother. Of course the true test will come in the following months when Thor is left to act on his own accord without Loki there to hold him back but Loki believes his brother is unlikely to undertake any action which is too reckless without his counsel. 

Once Father had entered the Odinsleep Loki had still tarried. As he had been requested it had been important to confirm Thor’s position was strong. In the end Loki felt this had been slightly unnecessary. Thor is well-loved by the people of Asgard and if his brother is gifted with one other talent than his ability to fight it is his ability to lead and command.  
There had still been the case of Svartalfheim to be settled. Loki and Thor had decided to send Sif and Fandral there in the end. The two are known to be favoured by the Princes and are a dangerous force together. Personally Loki ranks Sif second best of the warriors after his brother and Fandral his accompanied Loki on many a delegation and will hopefully make out for the policital finesse she sadly lacks with his charm. 

It is unfortunate to deprive his brother of his close companions in addition to Loki himself but such is necessary and Loki has neither deprived Thor of all his companions nor left him in a den of wolves. 

Now though all has been done that can be and Loki is ready to go to Midgard. There are frustratingly few tomes on the subject on this particular realm. As he stands on the Bifrost Loki thinks Heimdall is quick glad to be sending him off. The Gatekeeper is of course as difficult to read as always but Loki admits his constant questions on what he has seen of Midgard may have been somewhat irritating. Still, it is not as if Heimdall usually gets much company so perhaps it was not so much of a hardship. 

Loki is apparently to be sent to midst of some uninhabited desert. Loki is not entirely keen on this idea he admits. He would prefer somewhere rather cooler though he has been assured the trip has been scheduled for the late in the day when it is cool enough. Midgard’s rulers and defenders are apparently not keen on the majority of their realm learning of the existence of beings from any other realm yet. 

Apparently this rendezvous point also has other historical reasoning. Apparently the Bifrost has opened unto there before in humanity’s past even though it is far from Asgard’s usual visiting point on Midgard. More recently it is apparently where Father sent their first emissary to the other realm. Somewhat unfortunately apparently the man had been hit by some Midgardian vehicle almost on landing. Fortunately this was of little harm to one of Asgard and it turned out to be something of a stroke of luck. Despite his lack of injury the owner had guiltily offered him accommodation for the night. This owner had turned out to be a scientist whose recordings of the Bifrost the defensive forces of the land had wished to access, the crater the man left having caught their attention and so he had been able to declare himself to them and Asgard’s wish to make a somewhat more official contact. 

Loki doubts the Midgardians are unaware the Bifrost can deposit him wherever Asgard wishes but if they are not he sees no realise to enlighten them unless it necessary and even if they know, knowing a thing and seeing it are two quite different things. It is likely that the continued use of this location is due in no small part to a desire to reassure the mortals. 

Loki’s visit is to be far less subject to the vagaries of fate. All has been planned at least as much as all such can be. His last thought before he is sent into the Bifrost is that Thor would have liked to go on this trip. It seems once again Loki is going to be first to experience another world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which something not dissimilar to the events in Thor happens except random unnamed Asgardian male has the advantage of still being an immortal Aesir, not going through emotional turmoil and knowing what they're expected to do and Jane has lots of SCIENCE!!! to do, if less chance to fall in love with an alien space prince.


End file.
